With the countdown to New Year's Day approaching, I am asked - as well as many others - if I've made any New Year's resolutions. I don't usually have a specific something that I want to do and I figure if I am like the majority of Americans, I am just going to stop doing whatever it is I resolved to do within the first 3 months anyway. So I usually formulate a loose resolution to keep doing the good stuff that I already do, but with more passion and vigor and if there are bad habits that I've crept back toward (like I used to never drink carbonated beverages...ooops) I strive to drop those and get back to the good stuff. Sometimes a specific thing here and there will pop up and I'm usually pretty good about doing it, but it comes in waves.
Well, you might ask what the new year has to do with me right now on the Monday in July. I'll tell you! I was at work the other day and I was just thinking how much of this year I have wasted. I've wasted money on things i didn't need, I've wasted time being lazy and not being productive, I've wasted my attitude on things that aren't worth getting upset over, and I've wasted my frame of mind being less than satisfied with doing what I am doing in the location that I'm doing it in. Now a lot of this comes down to patience and my lack thereof (if I haven't told you before, I think my life's lesson is in patience. Sometimes I feel I've mastered it. Other times I am pure novice).
Last year, my voice teacher and mentor, Mrs. Halbert, came and saw the show I was in - and that I am currently still in. She was so impressed with how my friend and schoolmate Mallory G. and I had grown as performers, whether it be in dance, physique, vocal ability, or stage presence. We spoke of the job that we were doing and what was next. She said that as good as the money is and as stable of a job as it seems, it might be good to do another contract and stay a 2nd year. I remember thinking in my head "you've got to be kidding! There is no way that I will let that happen." Well, she was right and here I am. I wasn't able to line anything up at the end of my 1st contract and they still needed a boy - and hey - I'd rather work in my field than out of it. So here I am again. Contract/year 2. Is it ideal? No. Will there be a contract 3? H NO. :) Am I thankful for what I have and have I gotten over the initial disappointment? It has taken a while, but yes. There are the pros and the cons of living and working where I am right now, but I am learning through experiences of my own and experiences of others that there will always be the pros and the cons - the goods and the bads. I've let the bads weigh me down and that is where all of the waste that I was referring to comes in. It's time for the goods to take that place.
I've missed my passion for living life to its fullest, making new friends - and growing those relationships, having new adventures, taking advantage of the good things that I have, and always striving for more. That's my mid-year resolution. Waste not, want not :)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Charlie's Bunion
Today, being Tuesday, is my day off and I hiked 8.1 miles on the Appalachian Trail!! Charlie's Bunion is a rock outcropping just off the trail at the 4 mile mark on the trail headed east of the Newfound Gap parking lot (which is right on the Tennessee/North Carolina State line in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park). The hike was delightful! Aside from the tired hip-flexors and fatigued knees/ankles, everything about it was near perfect from the temperature to the length of time to the views. What an invigorating way to spend a day off!
The last time I blogged I think I was tired and I know I was distracted since I was at work so I don't really recall if it made a lot of sense or not. This time I'm just kinda tired. I suppose I have, so far, picked some of the more inopportune times of my day to do this...but I'm glad that I am doing it - and have 3 blogs in the past couple of weeks to show for it.
While I was atop the "Bunion" I thought I'd try and call someone if my phone worked and lo and behold, I got service up in the mountains on the Appalachian Trail. I called my sister since I hadn't spoken to her in a while and I found out she, too, has just started blogging recently. I read both of her entries and I have to say that I think it is amazing the way the Lord uses chance happenings to speak to you and kind of hit home some nuggets of wisdom that he wants you to chew on. She spoke of transitions and how
"Sometimes we get so caught up in the next thing, the point of arrival, that we see each day as a mere means to an end. [She thinks] if we wait through our current days until we 'arrive,' we'll be pretty disappointed when we never get "there".[She does] know that if [she's] not intentional in processing the present, the present becomes a burdensome routine of going through the motions to get to 'the next thing'."
I think in my life as a performer it is easy to fall into this habit of looking for the next thing - whether that be a job, a vacation, a day off, or just a break in the everyday routine that I have established myself here or wherever else that I may live - so I just wish away my days and write them off as a waste of time or as my sister puts it, "a means to an end." I need to be reminded that my days on this earth are numbered. One day, (hopefully in the seemingly far off future) I will leave this life behind and I hope I don't feel like I wasted it.
Now that may be a bit on the melodramatic side, but I do know lately that I have taken what I have at present for granted in my desire to get somewhere. I know someone somewhere has said something like this, but life is not a destination but a journey. The fun, the good stuff, the fulfillment is in the trip - not the end result, you know? Or to be musical since I was a music major: if your life is like experiencing a good piece of music, the story or the "meat" to it all is in the middle - the journey that you take with the piece. Once it's over it's over and you have only the memory of it.
haha okay, okay. Enough of the comparisons. I'm probably reading too much into it all and it is probably more silly than it is eloquent, but all of that to say - my sister spoke to my heart and I think it's something that a lot of people should hear.
Well, I'm going to finish my dinner of a left over Tin Roof sandwich and some fresh strawberries and enjoy this day off. I'll leave you with a quote that my sister had...since she's my fave :)
"Annie Dillard writes, 'Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you.' "
Here's to a good afternoon. I know I love sunsets!
The last time I blogged I think I was tired and I know I was distracted since I was at work so I don't really recall if it made a lot of sense or not. This time I'm just kinda tired. I suppose I have, so far, picked some of the more inopportune times of my day to do this...but I'm glad that I am doing it - and have 3 blogs in the past couple of weeks to show for it.
While I was atop the "Bunion" I thought I'd try and call someone if my phone worked and lo and behold, I got service up in the mountains on the Appalachian Trail. I called my sister since I hadn't spoken to her in a while and I found out she, too, has just started blogging recently. I read both of her entries and I have to say that I think it is amazing the way the Lord uses chance happenings to speak to you and kind of hit home some nuggets of wisdom that he wants you to chew on. She spoke of transitions and how
"Sometimes we get so caught up in the next thing, the point of arrival, that we see each day as a mere means to an end. [She thinks] if we wait through our current days until we 'arrive,' we'll be pretty disappointed when we never get "there".[She does] know that if [she's] not intentional in processing the present, the present becomes a burdensome routine of going through the motions to get to 'the next thing'."
I think in my life as a performer it is easy to fall into this habit of looking for the next thing - whether that be a job, a vacation, a day off, or just a break in the everyday routine that I have established myself here or wherever else that I may live - so I just wish away my days and write them off as a waste of time or as my sister puts it, "a means to an end." I need to be reminded that my days on this earth are numbered. One day, (hopefully in the seemingly far off future) I will leave this life behind and I hope I don't feel like I wasted it.
Now that may be a bit on the melodramatic side, but I do know lately that I have taken what I have at present for granted in my desire to get somewhere. I know someone somewhere has said something like this, but life is not a destination but a journey. The fun, the good stuff, the fulfillment is in the trip - not the end result, you know? Or to be musical since I was a music major: if your life is like experiencing a good piece of music, the story or the "meat" to it all is in the middle - the journey that you take with the piece. Once it's over it's over and you have only the memory of it.
haha okay, okay. Enough of the comparisons. I'm probably reading too much into it all and it is probably more silly than it is eloquent, but all of that to say - my sister spoke to my heart and I think it's something that a lot of people should hear.
Well, I'm going to finish my dinner of a left over Tin Roof sandwich and some fresh strawberries and enjoy this day off. I'll leave you with a quote that my sister had...since she's my fave :)
"Annie Dillard writes, 'Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you.' "
Here's to a good afternoon. I know I love sunsets!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The BBJ
Well, I'm here at work - another day. My buddy Curtis and I came in to the theatre extra early today and recorded some stuff for a demo/audition reel. I think it is gonna turn out really well! I love the theatre and I love being in it, and I love when you get to do stuff that you want to do on the stage. It's been a while since I thought of it this way or really considered what the theatre means to me, but it's life. Its black walls and floor - its blankness - is a void where sparks a creation new and the same every night. You can do just about anything in that space and it's always an experience to be on it...or watching! It makes me think of Plato...but I won't go into that. :) And this may sound cheesy or weird or something, but it makes me feel grateful to the Creator who allowed us to have imaginations and create things of our own.
I must say, it makes my heart heavy when I think of work as work. As a burden. It has been a while since I've focused on what the theatre really is. What makes it hard are the people around me. Now, I enjoy the servers at our theatre. They have always been friendly to me and everyone I work with (at least to our faces) and they are quite a diverse crowd as well. I can say that I would call all of them a friend - or a nice acquaintance if they have never talked to me really. Well, a newer server today just ran his mouth at me and tried to tell me how to do my job and what I could say and do. He was trying to sound like he knew what he was talking about and make me feel dumb - when in actuality he just looked like a dumb -a**. Oh well. I'll let it go. Just got 5 min - I'm gonna go and enjoy my time on the stage! I think I love performing :)
I must say, it makes my heart heavy when I think of work as work. As a burden. It has been a while since I've focused on what the theatre really is. What makes it hard are the people around me. Now, I enjoy the servers at our theatre. They have always been friendly to me and everyone I work with (at least to our faces) and they are quite a diverse crowd as well. I can say that I would call all of them a friend - or a nice acquaintance if they have never talked to me really. Well, a newer server today just ran his mouth at me and tried to tell me how to do my job and what I could say and do. He was trying to sound like he knew what he was talking about and make me feel dumb - when in actuality he just looked like a dumb -a**. Oh well. I'll let it go. Just got 5 min - I'm gonna go and enjoy my time on the stage! I think I love performing :)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
First Blog!
Well, I decided to join the scores of other people and start a blog. I don't have anything specific in mind to make it about, but I thought it would be neat to just write about my life and see what happens. I think it will probably be a bit of everything - work, travels, friends and family, and well, whatever comes up! I don't know who will read this, but at least whoever does can keep up with the comings and goings of my life. I'm not the best at calling or e-mailing people and this might help alleviate some of the strain that distance puts on all of my relations.
You might wonder about the title of the blog, too. I think, I love. It's the title of a Jamie Cullum song. The song is about all of the things he thinks he loves about a certain someone. I do really like the song, but I guess the meaning I was going for was that I'll be writing my thoughts, and about the things that I love - the things in life that make me tick, bring passion and joy, or just tickle my fancy. This may be getting too detailed or reading too much into it, but I changed the punctuation as well. You can choose to separate the thoughts or put them together and feel free to read as much into what they mean yourself. I'm sure I will at some point or another.
As far as my life goes, I am currently performing in Pigeon Forge, TN. Lots of wonderful things have come from my time here, but there is a burning desire in the deep of my heart to leave and do other things. I want to be able to blow with the breeze - do a job for several months and go somewhere else. I think that's why I'm so keen on trying to get on a cruise ship again. You can travel as you perform! See the world. And while your house goes with you wherever you go, it moves all over the place. It's never stationary for too long.
I think this summer has been one of the most unbearable heats I've endured...right up with my time in Sullivan, Illinois - where it was over 100 for several days in a row and I had no a/c!
And I miss my friends. My close ones from college and home and while a good chunk of them are merely a 3-4 hr. car drive away there are others that are much farther. More like a 3 hr. plane ride. My current job makes it very hard to do anything but it and while I am so thankful for the work, I also wish I had the time to take a vacation or even just a weekend away to be with my family or friends. That's what summer is about. A break. Things slow down for a time and it's easier to enjoy nature and the life around you. Unfortunately, in the entertainment world, that means our lives get busier. It's the sort of odd trade-off you get with this. While everyone else works in the day, you are free, but you work in the evenings. And when life picks up for everyone else with school (which I realize more and more how our world works around the school year...so weird) my life slows down just a bit. I kinda like that. The pros outweigh the cons :)
I suppose that's all for now. I had some really thoughtful thoughts on my heart the other day and I just can't seem to remember them. If they come back, I will write about them because I liked them and want to share!
Ciao
You might wonder about the title of the blog, too. I think, I love. It's the title of a Jamie Cullum song. The song is about all of the things he thinks he loves about a certain someone. I do really like the song, but I guess the meaning I was going for was that I'll be writing my thoughts, and about the things that I love - the things in life that make me tick, bring passion and joy, or just tickle my fancy. This may be getting too detailed or reading too much into it, but I changed the punctuation as well. You can choose to separate the thoughts or put them together and feel free to read as much into what they mean yourself. I'm sure I will at some point or another.
As far as my life goes, I am currently performing in Pigeon Forge, TN. Lots of wonderful things have come from my time here, but there is a burning desire in the deep of my heart to leave and do other things. I want to be able to blow with the breeze - do a job for several months and go somewhere else. I think that's why I'm so keen on trying to get on a cruise ship again. You can travel as you perform! See the world. And while your house goes with you wherever you go, it moves all over the place. It's never stationary for too long.
I think this summer has been one of the most unbearable heats I've endured...right up with my time in Sullivan, Illinois - where it was over 100 for several days in a row and I had no a/c!
And I miss my friends. My close ones from college and home and while a good chunk of them are merely a 3-4 hr. car drive away there are others that are much farther. More like a 3 hr. plane ride. My current job makes it very hard to do anything but it and while I am so thankful for the work, I also wish I had the time to take a vacation or even just a weekend away to be with my family or friends. That's what summer is about. A break. Things slow down for a time and it's easier to enjoy nature and the life around you. Unfortunately, in the entertainment world, that means our lives get busier. It's the sort of odd trade-off you get with this. While everyone else works in the day, you are free, but you work in the evenings. And when life picks up for everyone else with school (which I realize more and more how our world works around the school year...so weird) my life slows down just a bit. I kinda like that. The pros outweigh the cons :)
I suppose that's all for now. I had some really thoughtful thoughts on my heart the other day and I just can't seem to remember them. If they come back, I will write about them because I liked them and want to share!
Ciao
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