So, I feel like just about everyone has a blog with a name similar to this one's, but hey it's true. We all get busy with life, work, friends, etc. and well, I must say that I am proud that my hasn't been spent watching TV or being on the internet all the time. Did you know that according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics the average American spends about 2.8 hours a day watching TV. If the average life expectancy in the US is 78.4 years (which it is) and I knock it down to 70 to include busy times in our lives/the first few years of our lives when we can't even remember watching TV or make our own choices to do it or not, that's still 71,540 hours of TV watching on average in our lives. Which is 2,980.84 days or 8.17 years of our lives that we spend watching TV...that's an awful lot of time. Fun fact! Anywho...
It's been since September since I last posted...a whopping 2 months! I feel like a lot has happened in 2 months. I've visited New York, I turned 25, I went to ATL to visit my sister, I went home to visit my parents, I've been to Asheville, NC for a date with myself and the Biltmore Estate, I found out that I have a job opportunity for the new year and the possibility of another one, I learned that my theatre is closing in January to be completely redone and to open a new show that a lot of us may not be able to be a part of (which doesn't bother me much because I wasn't planning on staying), I've made new friends, seen/talked to/missed old ones, witnessed the change from summer to fall (always beautiful in the mountains), closed one show and opened a Christmas show (in Nov.? really people?!), read a few books, watched a few movies, and just thoroughly enjoyed living. Now it wasn't without its difficult times, its lonely times, or doubting times but I think we all experience that at some point or another - and without them we wouldn't really appreciate where we've come from. Anywho, I have to run to work so perhaps I'll elaborate more on this. Plus, I've been meaning to do an "All Things Pigeon Forge" blog to share the best and worst of this town - plus some insider secrets on where to eat and how to get from here to there (not that the majority of readers would necessarily come to Pigeon Forge...unless you're already here).
Ta Ta for now! Christmas Time's a Comin'
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Daily Reflections
Perspective sure is interesting. The way we view things, physical things, abstract things, emotional things. It all depends on our experiences - our surroundings. Where we are, what we know, life circumstances. Perspective is something that can seem forced upon us and hard to change and yet all it does is take one pivotal experience or even a conscious change of thought and we have a completely different perspective.
This is not a response to anything in particular that has happened...just a thought about things I've read lately. And I'm always amazed at how my perspective changes when I go to a new city or place and take in new experiences. Our world is such a huge place and if you don't have experiences that change your perspective every now and then - well then I'm not sure you are making the most out of this world that the Lord has given us. I know I forget to open my eyes to the world around me. And sometimes I get so wrapped up in me and my own little world that I forget to open my eyes to everything else around me.
So here's to some fresh perspective for everyone! Challenge yourself to do something that you usually don't. Try and see something a different way - from a different angle - than you always have in the past.
This is not a response to anything in particular that has happened...just a thought about things I've read lately. And I'm always amazed at how my perspective changes when I go to a new city or place and take in new experiences. Our world is such a huge place and if you don't have experiences that change your perspective every now and then - well then I'm not sure you are making the most out of this world that the Lord has given us. I know I forget to open my eyes to the world around me. And sometimes I get so wrapped up in me and my own little world that I forget to open my eyes to everything else around me.
So here's to some fresh perspective for everyone! Challenge yourself to do something that you usually don't. Try and see something a different way - from a different angle - than you always have in the past.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Family
For those few of you who are following my blog - it has been a while! I have been content for the past couple of weeks just going out with friends, sleeping in, and getting back into the regular workout habit. I start one show weeks this week! My body is ready for the rest. I'm also getting organized and geared up for a lovely 6 day break/trip up to NYC to audition and be with loved ones that I haven't seen in a while. I am looking very much forward to it!
What's been on my mind and heart today is family. Contemplating what the word means to me, what my family means to me, and how much I love them all blood-relation or not. When some people think of family they may think of a husband and wife and children. They may think of a mom and kids, a dad and kids, parents, grandparents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins. People may have close friends or family friends that for one reason or another have come to be thought of as part of a family - an intimate bond of friendship. Some people may have formed a group of people around them that are very close knit because of a group of shared characteristics, bonds, or ideals that make them, for all intents and purposes, a family. However you look at it, there are several definitions. All of them are legitimate.
For me, I have several uses of the word that I want to ponder on. As an entertainer, especially a younger entertainer, I'm prone to the gypsy lifestyle. I travel around a lot! Granted I've been in one place for over a year now, this is still a temporary home for me. Since my blood family is usually not where I am, I always accumulate a small handful of close relations wherever I am that I can call my family. I'm not always the best at communicating - I have always been a very independent person even when growing up. I would often go sit in my room by myself and read or listen to music and do nothing else. I like people's company, but I also like the freedom of doing stuff on my own. It is relaxing and somewhat therapeutic for me. Still, relationships are important and even though I may leave those close friends behind at the end of the contract and not talk to them for months at a time, the fact remains that they are still my loved ones who have been there for me and impacted me greatly. Even those people who may not be my closest friends, but are a part of my every day life on a day to day basis I consider family to some extent. I think it's almost a requirement to form relationships fairly quickly in a performer's life and it is also fairly inevitable because you are ultimately becoming vulnerable with those people when you share your emotions and life with those people on stage. So while Joe Smith who works a desk job at a big law firm may only interact with his co-workers on a business level at work through meetings and exchanges and maybe on a slightly more personal level when on a lunch break or at a bar with a couple of buddies after work - they (more than likely) are still work buddies and there is a wall that separates buds and friends from the more intimate relationship of family. Now, that is just a generalization and on the flip side of things, not everyone in the performing world opens up and shares personal lives and stories with everyone - it just tends to be a more open, more close-knit (almost by necessity) group of people by nature...in general from what I've gathered. And of course there are variances with gender relationships and all - but that's getting a bit more sociological than I intended. All in all performers are quick to be on a more intimate level with their friendships.
So I have my performing families. And regardless of who I consider family while I'm performing, I always have those really close handful of folks that will be there for me and I for them for a lifetime. I tend to meld my college friends who I consider family into that category as well - the performing family. After all, we are all performers in some respect or another!
Church family - my friends growing up from church that I have known since birth and even the people that are not as much friends but folks who have taken an interest in my life and have helped raise me in some form or fashion. I consider them family. Of course you have some that are closer than others...but that's the same with blood relations as well. Cousins that I have that are blood related but that I haven't seen in years or really talk to at all. I treat them like family and love on them when I do see them, but my heart doesn't hurt badly when I don't. That doesn't mean that I care for them any less, we just aren't as big a part of each others' lives as some people are. Of course there are the closer ones. Friends I've had in church that I have known virtually my whole life. They are part of my church family, but by extension of what they mean to me, they are part of MY family. I love them dearly.
And of course the immediate blood-relations. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, 1st cousins, and mom, dad, and sister. My closest family. And yet, as I said, I'm very independent and even with them sometimes a period of time as much as a couple of weeks will go by when I haven't called them or they haven't called me. I'll hear updates and sometimes we'll talk several times in a week. I usually hear from them or call one of them about once a week. They have been on my heart a lot lately. I know they know that I love them and I know that they love me. But hey, it never hurts to say it once in a while - and I'm in a thoughtful, communicative mood.
My dad is an incredible man. He is one of the most disciplined, hard-working person I know. When he puts his mind to learning something or doing something, he works until he has achieved his goals (a valuable trait that I admire so much and strive to have). He is athletic and for an (dare I say it) almost 50 year old - is in excellent physical condition. He has worked his tail off to provide for his family. He is a great story teller. He has always been the voice of reason for me. Sometimes he is a bit stubborn in his ways but he knows what he thinks and why he thinks it. If I ever need sound advice (even if I don't want to hear it) I know I can ask him and he can impart some wisdom or even plain ol' common sense. Everything that he has ever done for me, said to me, given me, or shown me has been to ultimately mold me into a more upright, respectable person - like him. I never shared his love of team sports with him - which saddens me. I haven't shared some of the typical father-son pastimes/bonds that others share like throwing a football or baseball around the yard or playing golf. I did enjoy riding bikes with my dad when I lived at home. I enjoy being around him. I love the fact that he encouraged me and cheered me at my swim meets. I love that I got to act with him - even if it was a little skit at church. He is a wonderful man and although there is a bit of stoicism about him at times, he is a warm, kind, funny and loving man - whether he says it or not, I know he loves me very much. And I love him.
My mother is a beautiful woman both inside and out. She is so strong and patient. She just had surgery for breast cancer and they got it all! She has recovered and healed like a champ. She is a great conversationalist and always a willing ear if you need someone to talk to. We'll talk about anything from catching up type stuff to pop culture to music to religion to whatever else. She, like my father, walks by the Holy Spirit and you can tell by the light and love in her eyes. She is very encouraging always and is a great person to go to if I just need to talk things out about whatever. She's a fantastic cook and thankfully, for us kids, made sure we ate healthy - and when we requested healthy stuff (i.e. more fruit in the house or even specific fruit or veggies, a lower carb diet, healthier beverages) she would get it. The part time worker that she was, she was the one who was around the house more during the days or immediately after school. She taught us to be clean and organized. When we were sick she treated us and to this day if I'm feeling bad and miss my mother, she is there on the other end of the phone giving me advice and telling me she loves me. And I love her.
Between my two parents, I really couldn't have asked for a better upbringing. As I've transitioned into adulthood they are there for me with advice but also allow me to be my own person. I know they wish me happiness with my life and career. I never really asked them if they approve of my career choice. I told them my passion for music and what I wanted to do, and whether they liked it or not, they supported and cheered me on. They helped me to go to the school that I wanted to go to (even suggested it before I even knew much about it). The career, of course, comes with its ups and downs (holidays away or shorter vacations with family stink!). But they have dealt with it like champs and I suppose I have, too. My parents were always encouraging and loving, they never were overly praising though. I suppose, wisely, they thought that praise should be earned through hard work, perseverance, and working towards/meeting goals, and not given freely. I am thankful for that. They have told me enough for me to know that they do love me and are proud parents but not so much that I think I deserve it for any reason other than the results of my labors. I love my parents so much and think they are wonderful people. I have been so blessed with my family.
And of course, I can't NOT mention my sister! I talk about her a lot in these blogs, but then again she is my sister, best friend, confidant, goof off person, and any number of other wonderful qualities that you can imagine. Intelligent, artistic, adventuresome, handy, beautiful, hard-working, funny, and kind are a few adjectives that come to mind immediately when I think of my sister. A great person to talk to or just hang out with, my sister is someone I can and do share anything with. I love her so so much! And I'm really glad we never went through a phase where we just hated each other or anything!
So to all of my family - mom, dad, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, performers, church friends, and school friends. I love you, I love you, I love you. Whether you raised me, grew up with me, are an intimate friend, or just a solid person that has invested your time and friendship in me, you are my family. You are so important to me and I thank you for being a part of my life! Because God put you in my life, I feel so full and joyful! To those that become my family in the future - I can't wait to meet you! To those who are already a part of my family - I'm so thankful and glad to know you and the best is yet to come :)
However you define family - family is a beautiful thing.
What's been on my mind and heart today is family. Contemplating what the word means to me, what my family means to me, and how much I love them all blood-relation or not. When some people think of family they may think of a husband and wife and children. They may think of a mom and kids, a dad and kids, parents, grandparents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins. People may have close friends or family friends that for one reason or another have come to be thought of as part of a family - an intimate bond of friendship. Some people may have formed a group of people around them that are very close knit because of a group of shared characteristics, bonds, or ideals that make them, for all intents and purposes, a family. However you look at it, there are several definitions. All of them are legitimate.
For me, I have several uses of the word that I want to ponder on. As an entertainer, especially a younger entertainer, I'm prone to the gypsy lifestyle. I travel around a lot! Granted I've been in one place for over a year now, this is still a temporary home for me. Since my blood family is usually not where I am, I always accumulate a small handful of close relations wherever I am that I can call my family. I'm not always the best at communicating - I have always been a very independent person even when growing up. I would often go sit in my room by myself and read or listen to music and do nothing else. I like people's company, but I also like the freedom of doing stuff on my own. It is relaxing and somewhat therapeutic for me. Still, relationships are important and even though I may leave those close friends behind at the end of the contract and not talk to them for months at a time, the fact remains that they are still my loved ones who have been there for me and impacted me greatly. Even those people who may not be my closest friends, but are a part of my every day life on a day to day basis I consider family to some extent. I think it's almost a requirement to form relationships fairly quickly in a performer's life and it is also fairly inevitable because you are ultimately becoming vulnerable with those people when you share your emotions and life with those people on stage. So while Joe Smith who works a desk job at a big law firm may only interact with his co-workers on a business level at work through meetings and exchanges and maybe on a slightly more personal level when on a lunch break or at a bar with a couple of buddies after work - they (more than likely) are still work buddies and there is a wall that separates buds and friends from the more intimate relationship of family. Now, that is just a generalization and on the flip side of things, not everyone in the performing world opens up and shares personal lives and stories with everyone - it just tends to be a more open, more close-knit (almost by necessity) group of people by nature...in general from what I've gathered. And of course there are variances with gender relationships and all - but that's getting a bit more sociological than I intended. All in all performers are quick to be on a more intimate level with their friendships.
So I have my performing families. And regardless of who I consider family while I'm performing, I always have those really close handful of folks that will be there for me and I for them for a lifetime. I tend to meld my college friends who I consider family into that category as well - the performing family. After all, we are all performers in some respect or another!
Church family - my friends growing up from church that I have known since birth and even the people that are not as much friends but folks who have taken an interest in my life and have helped raise me in some form or fashion. I consider them family. Of course you have some that are closer than others...but that's the same with blood relations as well. Cousins that I have that are blood related but that I haven't seen in years or really talk to at all. I treat them like family and love on them when I do see them, but my heart doesn't hurt badly when I don't. That doesn't mean that I care for them any less, we just aren't as big a part of each others' lives as some people are. Of course there are the closer ones. Friends I've had in church that I have known virtually my whole life. They are part of my church family, but by extension of what they mean to me, they are part of MY family. I love them dearly.
And of course the immediate blood-relations. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, 1st cousins, and mom, dad, and sister. My closest family. And yet, as I said, I'm very independent and even with them sometimes a period of time as much as a couple of weeks will go by when I haven't called them or they haven't called me. I'll hear updates and sometimes we'll talk several times in a week. I usually hear from them or call one of them about once a week. They have been on my heart a lot lately. I know they know that I love them and I know that they love me. But hey, it never hurts to say it once in a while - and I'm in a thoughtful, communicative mood.
My dad is an incredible man. He is one of the most disciplined, hard-working person I know. When he puts his mind to learning something or doing something, he works until he has achieved his goals (a valuable trait that I admire so much and strive to have). He is athletic and for an (dare I say it) almost 50 year old - is in excellent physical condition. He has worked his tail off to provide for his family. He is a great story teller. He has always been the voice of reason for me. Sometimes he is a bit stubborn in his ways but he knows what he thinks and why he thinks it. If I ever need sound advice (even if I don't want to hear it) I know I can ask him and he can impart some wisdom or even plain ol' common sense. Everything that he has ever done for me, said to me, given me, or shown me has been to ultimately mold me into a more upright, respectable person - like him. I never shared his love of team sports with him - which saddens me. I haven't shared some of the typical father-son pastimes/bonds that others share like throwing a football or baseball around the yard or playing golf. I did enjoy riding bikes with my dad when I lived at home. I enjoy being around him. I love the fact that he encouraged me and cheered me at my swim meets. I love that I got to act with him - even if it was a little skit at church. He is a wonderful man and although there is a bit of stoicism about him at times, he is a warm, kind, funny and loving man - whether he says it or not, I know he loves me very much. And I love him.
My mother is a beautiful woman both inside and out. She is so strong and patient. She just had surgery for breast cancer and they got it all! She has recovered and healed like a champ. She is a great conversationalist and always a willing ear if you need someone to talk to. We'll talk about anything from catching up type stuff to pop culture to music to religion to whatever else. She, like my father, walks by the Holy Spirit and you can tell by the light and love in her eyes. She is very encouraging always and is a great person to go to if I just need to talk things out about whatever. She's a fantastic cook and thankfully, for us kids, made sure we ate healthy - and when we requested healthy stuff (i.e. more fruit in the house or even specific fruit or veggies, a lower carb diet, healthier beverages) she would get it. The part time worker that she was, she was the one who was around the house more during the days or immediately after school. She taught us to be clean and organized. When we were sick she treated us and to this day if I'm feeling bad and miss my mother, she is there on the other end of the phone giving me advice and telling me she loves me. And I love her.
Between my two parents, I really couldn't have asked for a better upbringing. As I've transitioned into adulthood they are there for me with advice but also allow me to be my own person. I know they wish me happiness with my life and career. I never really asked them if they approve of my career choice. I told them my passion for music and what I wanted to do, and whether they liked it or not, they supported and cheered me on. They helped me to go to the school that I wanted to go to (even suggested it before I even knew much about it). The career, of course, comes with its ups and downs (holidays away or shorter vacations with family stink!). But they have dealt with it like champs and I suppose I have, too. My parents were always encouraging and loving, they never were overly praising though. I suppose, wisely, they thought that praise should be earned through hard work, perseverance, and working towards/meeting goals, and not given freely. I am thankful for that. They have told me enough for me to know that they do love me and are proud parents but not so much that I think I deserve it for any reason other than the results of my labors. I love my parents so much and think they are wonderful people. I have been so blessed with my family.
And of course, I can't NOT mention my sister! I talk about her a lot in these blogs, but then again she is my sister, best friend, confidant, goof off person, and any number of other wonderful qualities that you can imagine. Intelligent, artistic, adventuresome, handy, beautiful, hard-working, funny, and kind are a few adjectives that come to mind immediately when I think of my sister. A great person to talk to or just hang out with, my sister is someone I can and do share anything with. I love her so so much! And I'm really glad we never went through a phase where we just hated each other or anything!
So to all of my family - mom, dad, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, performers, church friends, and school friends. I love you, I love you, I love you. Whether you raised me, grew up with me, are an intimate friend, or just a solid person that has invested your time and friendship in me, you are my family. You are so important to me and I thank you for being a part of my life! Because God put you in my life, I feel so full and joyful! To those that become my family in the future - I can't wait to meet you! To those who are already a part of my family - I'm so thankful and glad to know you and the best is yet to come :)
However you define family - family is a beautiful thing.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Books! a million
I love having my imagination sparked and stretched. One thing I've been doing with my time as of late is reading a lot. In between shows, in between sections, in my mornings, before bed. I just can't get enough. I feel as though I'm trying to make up for the past 6 years of not reading...or only reading Harry Potter :) I am wanting to grow in my tastes though. Yes, I will always love the fiction/fantasy type books because they are fascinating to me and I suppose they are my escapist literature. I am wanting to read more poetry, memoirs, philosophy, non-fiction, plays, and classic literature though. I've got plenty of books that I began and have not finished, so I'll be working on those first and then I'll be venturing out and trying to soak up a spectrum of a fraction of the vast wealth of knowledge and imagination that is in literature.
Now, I've always loved reading, but college kinda takes that away from you...high school too, but in college, there just isn't the time. I must confess - school came easy for me. Even college. And unfortunately academics is not what it once was. As we grow up, so much emphasis from the very beginning is put on grades and scoring and the level of achievement that you reach in your classes via assignments and tests. Not enough emphasis is put on what people are actually learning and gaining from a class, but how much "stuff" is retained to be spit out on a test. And a lot of it in public schools is the administration's fault. They want higher standardized test scores so that they can get more funding. Well, that puts pressure on the teachers to deliver instead of actually doing their job of instilling knowledge and developing young minds to be cultured and educated thinkers and problem solvers.
So I, like most people-pleasers and over achievers, did what I had to do to make the grades, but in the process didn't study like an academic should. I skimmed books or used spark notes to get the gist and be able to write a decent B.S. paper about it, but didn't soak up all there is to soak from the book and what some actual studying would have done. I crammed and memorized what I needed to know for a test so that I got a good grade, but would quickly forget. Now, in my defense, I will say that I did pay attention and take notes in class and so I retained some stuff from that...but let's be honest, I wanted the grade as much as I wanted the knowledge. Gone was the child that found joy in taking the time to read and be swept away by stories - reading had become dry. I wanted to form friendships and spend my time with people or surf the internet for games or fun videos on youtube to watch.
Well, now that I've left the academic world and have some time, I find that not only do I want to read for leisure, but I want to go back and read some of the books that I was supposed to read in school and actually soak them in. I want to write my thoughts about them and I would love to discuss themes and happenings with someone. Maybe I'll start a book club :) ...haha wait, who am I kidding? My friends here don't want to be in a book club.
I will say that I am very proud of my sister. Because of her demeanor and her maturity, she has found something that she is passionate about and that she wants to learn more and more about. She enjoys reading books and going to class and being challenged to think like a scholar. She has found in academics what most of us have forgotten or never had to begin with - a genuine thirst for knowledge. She does well in school not because she is focused on grades and trying to beat the system but because she really wants to learn all that she can about something, form her own thoughts and opinions about it and be thorough in her writing and communicating it back. Something I wish I had when I was in college.
But who knows...maybe I'll go back to grad school one day - then I can focus on learning and not so much on "making the grade." Until then, I am glad to have my love for reading back! (don't you love the smell of books?!)
Now, I've always loved reading, but college kinda takes that away from you...high school too, but in college, there just isn't the time. I must confess - school came easy for me. Even college. And unfortunately academics is not what it once was. As we grow up, so much emphasis from the very beginning is put on grades and scoring and the level of achievement that you reach in your classes via assignments and tests. Not enough emphasis is put on what people are actually learning and gaining from a class, but how much "stuff" is retained to be spit out on a test. And a lot of it in public schools is the administration's fault. They want higher standardized test scores so that they can get more funding. Well, that puts pressure on the teachers to deliver instead of actually doing their job of instilling knowledge and developing young minds to be cultured and educated thinkers and problem solvers.
So I, like most people-pleasers and over achievers, did what I had to do to make the grades, but in the process didn't study like an academic should. I skimmed books or used spark notes to get the gist and be able to write a decent B.S. paper about it, but didn't soak up all there is to soak from the book and what some actual studying would have done. I crammed and memorized what I needed to know for a test so that I got a good grade, but would quickly forget. Now, in my defense, I will say that I did pay attention and take notes in class and so I retained some stuff from that...but let's be honest, I wanted the grade as much as I wanted the knowledge. Gone was the child that found joy in taking the time to read and be swept away by stories - reading had become dry. I wanted to form friendships and spend my time with people or surf the internet for games or fun videos on youtube to watch.
Well, now that I've left the academic world and have some time, I find that not only do I want to read for leisure, but I want to go back and read some of the books that I was supposed to read in school and actually soak them in. I want to write my thoughts about them and I would love to discuss themes and happenings with someone. Maybe I'll start a book club :) ...haha wait, who am I kidding? My friends here don't want to be in a book club.
I will say that I am very proud of my sister. Because of her demeanor and her maturity, she has found something that she is passionate about and that she wants to learn more and more about. She enjoys reading books and going to class and being challenged to think like a scholar. She has found in academics what most of us have forgotten or never had to begin with - a genuine thirst for knowledge. She does well in school not because she is focused on grades and trying to beat the system but because she really wants to learn all that she can about something, form her own thoughts and opinions about it and be thorough in her writing and communicating it back. Something I wish I had when I was in college.
But who knows...maybe I'll go back to grad school one day - then I can focus on learning and not so much on "making the grade." Until then, I am glad to have my love for reading back! (don't you love the smell of books?!)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
mid-year resolutions
With the countdown to New Year's Day approaching, I am asked - as well as many others - if I've made any New Year's resolutions. I don't usually have a specific something that I want to do and I figure if I am like the majority of Americans, I am just going to stop doing whatever it is I resolved to do within the first 3 months anyway. So I usually formulate a loose resolution to keep doing the good stuff that I already do, but with more passion and vigor and if there are bad habits that I've crept back toward (like I used to never drink carbonated beverages...ooops) I strive to drop those and get back to the good stuff. Sometimes a specific thing here and there will pop up and I'm usually pretty good about doing it, but it comes in waves.
Well, you might ask what the new year has to do with me right now on the Monday in July. I'll tell you! I was at work the other day and I was just thinking how much of this year I have wasted. I've wasted money on things i didn't need, I've wasted time being lazy and not being productive, I've wasted my attitude on things that aren't worth getting upset over, and I've wasted my frame of mind being less than satisfied with doing what I am doing in the location that I'm doing it in. Now a lot of this comes down to patience and my lack thereof (if I haven't told you before, I think my life's lesson is in patience. Sometimes I feel I've mastered it. Other times I am pure novice).
Last year, my voice teacher and mentor, Mrs. Halbert, came and saw the show I was in - and that I am currently still in. She was so impressed with how my friend and schoolmate Mallory G. and I had grown as performers, whether it be in dance, physique, vocal ability, or stage presence. We spoke of the job that we were doing and what was next. She said that as good as the money is and as stable of a job as it seems, it might be good to do another contract and stay a 2nd year. I remember thinking in my head "you've got to be kidding! There is no way that I will let that happen." Well, she was right and here I am. I wasn't able to line anything up at the end of my 1st contract and they still needed a boy - and hey - I'd rather work in my field than out of it. So here I am again. Contract/year 2. Is it ideal? No. Will there be a contract 3? H NO. :) Am I thankful for what I have and have I gotten over the initial disappointment? It has taken a while, but yes. There are the pros and the cons of living and working where I am right now, but I am learning through experiences of my own and experiences of others that there will always be the pros and the cons - the goods and the bads. I've let the bads weigh me down and that is where all of the waste that I was referring to comes in. It's time for the goods to take that place.
I've missed my passion for living life to its fullest, making new friends - and growing those relationships, having new adventures, taking advantage of the good things that I have, and always striving for more. That's my mid-year resolution. Waste not, want not :)
Well, you might ask what the new year has to do with me right now on the Monday in July. I'll tell you! I was at work the other day and I was just thinking how much of this year I have wasted. I've wasted money on things i didn't need, I've wasted time being lazy and not being productive, I've wasted my attitude on things that aren't worth getting upset over, and I've wasted my frame of mind being less than satisfied with doing what I am doing in the location that I'm doing it in. Now a lot of this comes down to patience and my lack thereof (if I haven't told you before, I think my life's lesson is in patience. Sometimes I feel I've mastered it. Other times I am pure novice).
Last year, my voice teacher and mentor, Mrs. Halbert, came and saw the show I was in - and that I am currently still in. She was so impressed with how my friend and schoolmate Mallory G. and I had grown as performers, whether it be in dance, physique, vocal ability, or stage presence. We spoke of the job that we were doing and what was next. She said that as good as the money is and as stable of a job as it seems, it might be good to do another contract and stay a 2nd year. I remember thinking in my head "you've got to be kidding! There is no way that I will let that happen." Well, she was right and here I am. I wasn't able to line anything up at the end of my 1st contract and they still needed a boy - and hey - I'd rather work in my field than out of it. So here I am again. Contract/year 2. Is it ideal? No. Will there be a contract 3? H NO. :) Am I thankful for what I have and have I gotten over the initial disappointment? It has taken a while, but yes. There are the pros and the cons of living and working where I am right now, but I am learning through experiences of my own and experiences of others that there will always be the pros and the cons - the goods and the bads. I've let the bads weigh me down and that is where all of the waste that I was referring to comes in. It's time for the goods to take that place.
I've missed my passion for living life to its fullest, making new friends - and growing those relationships, having new adventures, taking advantage of the good things that I have, and always striving for more. That's my mid-year resolution. Waste not, want not :)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Charlie's Bunion
Today, being Tuesday, is my day off and I hiked 8.1 miles on the Appalachian Trail!! Charlie's Bunion is a rock outcropping just off the trail at the 4 mile mark on the trail headed east of the Newfound Gap parking lot (which is right on the Tennessee/North Carolina State line in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park). The hike was delightful! Aside from the tired hip-flexors and fatigued knees/ankles, everything about it was near perfect from the temperature to the length of time to the views. What an invigorating way to spend a day off!
The last time I blogged I think I was tired and I know I was distracted since I was at work so I don't really recall if it made a lot of sense or not. This time I'm just kinda tired. I suppose I have, so far, picked some of the more inopportune times of my day to do this...but I'm glad that I am doing it - and have 3 blogs in the past couple of weeks to show for it.
While I was atop the "Bunion" I thought I'd try and call someone if my phone worked and lo and behold, I got service up in the mountains on the Appalachian Trail. I called my sister since I hadn't spoken to her in a while and I found out she, too, has just started blogging recently. I read both of her entries and I have to say that I think it is amazing the way the Lord uses chance happenings to speak to you and kind of hit home some nuggets of wisdom that he wants you to chew on. She spoke of transitions and how
"Sometimes we get so caught up in the next thing, the point of arrival, that we see each day as a mere means to an end. [She thinks] if we wait through our current days until we 'arrive,' we'll be pretty disappointed when we never get "there".[She does] know that if [she's] not intentional in processing the present, the present becomes a burdensome routine of going through the motions to get to 'the next thing'."
I think in my life as a performer it is easy to fall into this habit of looking for the next thing - whether that be a job, a vacation, a day off, or just a break in the everyday routine that I have established myself here or wherever else that I may live - so I just wish away my days and write them off as a waste of time or as my sister puts it, "a means to an end." I need to be reminded that my days on this earth are numbered. One day, (hopefully in the seemingly far off future) I will leave this life behind and I hope I don't feel like I wasted it.
Now that may be a bit on the melodramatic side, but I do know lately that I have taken what I have at present for granted in my desire to get somewhere. I know someone somewhere has said something like this, but life is not a destination but a journey. The fun, the good stuff, the fulfillment is in the trip - not the end result, you know? Or to be musical since I was a music major: if your life is like experiencing a good piece of music, the story or the "meat" to it all is in the middle - the journey that you take with the piece. Once it's over it's over and you have only the memory of it.
haha okay, okay. Enough of the comparisons. I'm probably reading too much into it all and it is probably more silly than it is eloquent, but all of that to say - my sister spoke to my heart and I think it's something that a lot of people should hear.
Well, I'm going to finish my dinner of a left over Tin Roof sandwich and some fresh strawberries and enjoy this day off. I'll leave you with a quote that my sister had...since she's my fave :)
"Annie Dillard writes, 'Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you.' "
Here's to a good afternoon. I know I love sunsets!
The last time I blogged I think I was tired and I know I was distracted since I was at work so I don't really recall if it made a lot of sense or not. This time I'm just kinda tired. I suppose I have, so far, picked some of the more inopportune times of my day to do this...but I'm glad that I am doing it - and have 3 blogs in the past couple of weeks to show for it.
While I was atop the "Bunion" I thought I'd try and call someone if my phone worked and lo and behold, I got service up in the mountains on the Appalachian Trail. I called my sister since I hadn't spoken to her in a while and I found out she, too, has just started blogging recently. I read both of her entries and I have to say that I think it is amazing the way the Lord uses chance happenings to speak to you and kind of hit home some nuggets of wisdom that he wants you to chew on. She spoke of transitions and how
"Sometimes we get so caught up in the next thing, the point of arrival, that we see each day as a mere means to an end. [She thinks] if we wait through our current days until we 'arrive,' we'll be pretty disappointed when we never get "there".[She does] know that if [she's] not intentional in processing the present, the present becomes a burdensome routine of going through the motions to get to 'the next thing'."
I think in my life as a performer it is easy to fall into this habit of looking for the next thing - whether that be a job, a vacation, a day off, or just a break in the everyday routine that I have established myself here or wherever else that I may live - so I just wish away my days and write them off as a waste of time or as my sister puts it, "a means to an end." I need to be reminded that my days on this earth are numbered. One day, (hopefully in the seemingly far off future) I will leave this life behind and I hope I don't feel like I wasted it.
Now that may be a bit on the melodramatic side, but I do know lately that I have taken what I have at present for granted in my desire to get somewhere. I know someone somewhere has said something like this, but life is not a destination but a journey. The fun, the good stuff, the fulfillment is in the trip - not the end result, you know? Or to be musical since I was a music major: if your life is like experiencing a good piece of music, the story or the "meat" to it all is in the middle - the journey that you take with the piece. Once it's over it's over and you have only the memory of it.
haha okay, okay. Enough of the comparisons. I'm probably reading too much into it all and it is probably more silly than it is eloquent, but all of that to say - my sister spoke to my heart and I think it's something that a lot of people should hear.
Well, I'm going to finish my dinner of a left over Tin Roof sandwich and some fresh strawberries and enjoy this day off. I'll leave you with a quote that my sister had...since she's my fave :)
"Annie Dillard writes, 'Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you.' "
Here's to a good afternoon. I know I love sunsets!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The BBJ
Well, I'm here at work - another day. My buddy Curtis and I came in to the theatre extra early today and recorded some stuff for a demo/audition reel. I think it is gonna turn out really well! I love the theatre and I love being in it, and I love when you get to do stuff that you want to do on the stage. It's been a while since I thought of it this way or really considered what the theatre means to me, but it's life. Its black walls and floor - its blankness - is a void where sparks a creation new and the same every night. You can do just about anything in that space and it's always an experience to be on it...or watching! It makes me think of Plato...but I won't go into that. :) And this may sound cheesy or weird or something, but it makes me feel grateful to the Creator who allowed us to have imaginations and create things of our own.
I must say, it makes my heart heavy when I think of work as work. As a burden. It has been a while since I've focused on what the theatre really is. What makes it hard are the people around me. Now, I enjoy the servers at our theatre. They have always been friendly to me and everyone I work with (at least to our faces) and they are quite a diverse crowd as well. I can say that I would call all of them a friend - or a nice acquaintance if they have never talked to me really. Well, a newer server today just ran his mouth at me and tried to tell me how to do my job and what I could say and do. He was trying to sound like he knew what he was talking about and make me feel dumb - when in actuality he just looked like a dumb -a**. Oh well. I'll let it go. Just got 5 min - I'm gonna go and enjoy my time on the stage! I think I love performing :)
I must say, it makes my heart heavy when I think of work as work. As a burden. It has been a while since I've focused on what the theatre really is. What makes it hard are the people around me. Now, I enjoy the servers at our theatre. They have always been friendly to me and everyone I work with (at least to our faces) and they are quite a diverse crowd as well. I can say that I would call all of them a friend - or a nice acquaintance if they have never talked to me really. Well, a newer server today just ran his mouth at me and tried to tell me how to do my job and what I could say and do. He was trying to sound like he knew what he was talking about and make me feel dumb - when in actuality he just looked like a dumb -a**. Oh well. I'll let it go. Just got 5 min - I'm gonna go and enjoy my time on the stage! I think I love performing :)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
First Blog!
Well, I decided to join the scores of other people and start a blog. I don't have anything specific in mind to make it about, but I thought it would be neat to just write about my life and see what happens. I think it will probably be a bit of everything - work, travels, friends and family, and well, whatever comes up! I don't know who will read this, but at least whoever does can keep up with the comings and goings of my life. I'm not the best at calling or e-mailing people and this might help alleviate some of the strain that distance puts on all of my relations.
You might wonder about the title of the blog, too. I think, I love. It's the title of a Jamie Cullum song. The song is about all of the things he thinks he loves about a certain someone. I do really like the song, but I guess the meaning I was going for was that I'll be writing my thoughts, and about the things that I love - the things in life that make me tick, bring passion and joy, or just tickle my fancy. This may be getting too detailed or reading too much into it, but I changed the punctuation as well. You can choose to separate the thoughts or put them together and feel free to read as much into what they mean yourself. I'm sure I will at some point or another.
As far as my life goes, I am currently performing in Pigeon Forge, TN. Lots of wonderful things have come from my time here, but there is a burning desire in the deep of my heart to leave and do other things. I want to be able to blow with the breeze - do a job for several months and go somewhere else. I think that's why I'm so keen on trying to get on a cruise ship again. You can travel as you perform! See the world. And while your house goes with you wherever you go, it moves all over the place. It's never stationary for too long.
I think this summer has been one of the most unbearable heats I've endured...right up with my time in Sullivan, Illinois - where it was over 100 for several days in a row and I had no a/c!
And I miss my friends. My close ones from college and home and while a good chunk of them are merely a 3-4 hr. car drive away there are others that are much farther. More like a 3 hr. plane ride. My current job makes it very hard to do anything but it and while I am so thankful for the work, I also wish I had the time to take a vacation or even just a weekend away to be with my family or friends. That's what summer is about. A break. Things slow down for a time and it's easier to enjoy nature and the life around you. Unfortunately, in the entertainment world, that means our lives get busier. It's the sort of odd trade-off you get with this. While everyone else works in the day, you are free, but you work in the evenings. And when life picks up for everyone else with school (which I realize more and more how our world works around the school year...so weird) my life slows down just a bit. I kinda like that. The pros outweigh the cons :)
I suppose that's all for now. I had some really thoughtful thoughts on my heart the other day and I just can't seem to remember them. If they come back, I will write about them because I liked them and want to share!
Ciao
You might wonder about the title of the blog, too. I think, I love. It's the title of a Jamie Cullum song. The song is about all of the things he thinks he loves about a certain someone. I do really like the song, but I guess the meaning I was going for was that I'll be writing my thoughts, and about the things that I love - the things in life that make me tick, bring passion and joy, or just tickle my fancy. This may be getting too detailed or reading too much into it, but I changed the punctuation as well. You can choose to separate the thoughts or put them together and feel free to read as much into what they mean yourself. I'm sure I will at some point or another.
As far as my life goes, I am currently performing in Pigeon Forge, TN. Lots of wonderful things have come from my time here, but there is a burning desire in the deep of my heart to leave and do other things. I want to be able to blow with the breeze - do a job for several months and go somewhere else. I think that's why I'm so keen on trying to get on a cruise ship again. You can travel as you perform! See the world. And while your house goes with you wherever you go, it moves all over the place. It's never stationary for too long.
I think this summer has been one of the most unbearable heats I've endured...right up with my time in Sullivan, Illinois - where it was over 100 for several days in a row and I had no a/c!
And I miss my friends. My close ones from college and home and while a good chunk of them are merely a 3-4 hr. car drive away there are others that are much farther. More like a 3 hr. plane ride. My current job makes it very hard to do anything but it and while I am so thankful for the work, I also wish I had the time to take a vacation or even just a weekend away to be with my family or friends. That's what summer is about. A break. Things slow down for a time and it's easier to enjoy nature and the life around you. Unfortunately, in the entertainment world, that means our lives get busier. It's the sort of odd trade-off you get with this. While everyone else works in the day, you are free, but you work in the evenings. And when life picks up for everyone else with school (which I realize more and more how our world works around the school year...so weird) my life slows down just a bit. I kinda like that. The pros outweigh the cons :)
I suppose that's all for now. I had some really thoughtful thoughts on my heart the other day and I just can't seem to remember them. If they come back, I will write about them because I liked them and want to share!
Ciao
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